Springy autumn
Cherry blossoms in Singapore? I've seen three spots in Singapore so far with blooming flowers in Nov ... strange but beautiful. So I've taken one photo to share with my friends :)
Spring is indeed the most beautiful season I've seen so far (still awaiting for my 'snow' trip). And spring during autumn in Singapore ... now that's special. Am loving the cool weather so far.
A sincere ah-beng :)
I went to watch "Broadway Beng 4" with my aunt and mom today. It was a almost full house for a 3pm show. I've watched every single one of his shows and this 4th instalment didn't disappoint me at all. In fact, I thought it was much more enjoyable than "The Hossan Leong Show". At least, no sponsors' messaged weaved into his script. And this beng came across as very sincere and real. I especially enjoyed his song about his mom's love for the family and his dad, who passed on eight years back. If you've time, do catch his show ... ends on 12 Dec I think. Loved his karoke Hokkien version of "Work hard, then will win" ... damn funny :O What a great way to spend a Sat afternoon :)
This has been a week of ups and downs, esp in my feelings. "Letting go" is the theme for this week and I think I'm getting better at it. I'm meeting an old friend tom (known her since 10 years old!) ... I get to spend 2 face-to-face hours with her every year as she's staying in the States since 20 years back. It's amazing that I've a few good friends like that and many times, they are my better friends than those I meet everyday :)
The weather's been colder and I'm soaking in the festive mood. Been going to Orchard quite a bit ... yesterday, today and tom. Seeing all the Christmas trees and hearing the jingles do remind me that this season of giving is here. And I'm looking forward to all the Christmas presents I'll receive :) I'm still a 'little girl' at heart. Haha.
A Tuesday Carol
My team had a bonding session today and they chose a lunch and movie. The first choice was "A Christmas Carol" ... just a 1.5 hours movie. I've got a rough idea of the storyline so today's the first time I've seen the full story. It's simple, yet beautiful in reminding us the importance of sharing. The 3D effect was also good as I felt drawn into the story and movie.
Yesterday was a blue Monday ... today was uplifting in more ways than one. It was draining as I went through several experiences. Yet at the end of the day, I've made an important decision, and I chatted with another person to hopefully help her arrive at her own decision as well. So to me, 1 Dec has been a meaningful day :)
I've said this before - we can't have everyday. Rather than wallowing in what we don't have, let's always be thankful for what we do have. Once my mindset's tuned in to this, I feel much more peaceful and contented :)
May this last month of 2009 be a beautiful discovery of yourself, your life and the people around you!
Monday blues ...
Have I tire any of you before? Since I became the boss of many, many have worn me out, mentally. It's not a job I ask for, but a job that comes with what I enjoy doing. You can't choose to do just what you like to do ... I understood that but many don't. Sigh ... I really dislike managing people. Maybe I just don't have the talent. I'm often too brutal, too frank, too results oriented ... can my top ask less of me too?
It's sad that I've to blog unhappy things about work
. The only thing that keeps me going at work is doing marketing & communication. I've accepted that whatever else that comes with it is a total package and I'm prepared to do the rest which I like alot less. This portion now outweighs what I like. And it's dangerous.
Perhaps it's the Monday blues ... working till 10pm. Good thing I hit the gym today ... sweating out did me good. And heading off to bed soon. I just hope that when I wake up tom, everyone will mature, grow up and deal with their own internal turmoils.
Wide awake ...
It's 1.23am and I'm wide awake. My organs are supposed to be repairing themselves whilst I snooze away but I'm not in bed. Am I thinking about anything? Not really ... feeling tired since this morning actually. How did I managed to stay awake today? Ironic that I'm not sleepy yet.
My gut feel these days are really so accurate that it scares me. So many things I 'felt' came true ... can't express why this is disturbing.
Ok, will write no more so I can sleep more :p Dream away ...
Life can only get clearer
"The principle of life is that life responds by corresponding; your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be."
Raymond Charles BarkerOne of my team member had insomnia and SMS me at 4.45am. I only saw the message after I woke up in the morning. I was worried and after seeing her at noon, I understood that it must be work-related. She was unable to articulate her fears or concerns and as her boss, I was unable to do much. I feel helpless, yet I know that I've done my best effort to help her. I can only pray that she is able to walk out of whatever 'darkness' she's in at the moment. Only she can pull herself out at the moment.
I then thought of times in my life when depression enveloped me. Yes, it has happened several times though they were hardly due to work. Mostly family and loved ones, or personal issues. I do get affected by work - be it be people or projects. I cry sometimes and get over them quickly. I 'walked away' from two jobs before as my core values wasn't aligned to my bosses'. The decisions to leave both times came easy to me and I've never regretted them.
Being the age I'm in today and having gone through my life experiences, I'm glad to say I've far more many happy days than sad ones. I now have the ability to snap out of unhappy thoughts quickly as life is really too short to stay depressed. And I know my key priorities in life now.
I sincerely hope this person will sleep well tonight and find herself soon. Clarity of thought - once you've that, life can only get simplier and better :)
Learning along the way
I was on course on Thu & Fri ... it was a leadership programme. Although it was small class of 12, the open exchanges of experiences made me realise that the issues I faced as a leader weren't unique. Whether they are 25 or 55 years old, there were universal experiences faced by leaders who have 'constituents' :) This comforted me ... not that everyone has problems but that all leaders share common issues. I've learnt alot about myself and about what a leader means. At the end of the day, one of the participant wrote a really nice note to me ... and honestly, that made my day :)
This is a weekend which I've met up with four different groups of family and friends. It is not the norm as I much prefer to just spend it with my hub. After all, mingling with people is so much part of my work that I prefer the silence and solitude on my rest days. All my friends I've met are going through different parts of their lives. Everyone made choices and some will not be choices I make. One of my friend who already have a Master's degree said she is keen to do another Master's programme. She's married with 2 kids and has a job which requires alot of traveling. Already she's away from the family so much and she's still keen to study? I told her that I'm learning everyday from all aspects of my life and that's good enough for me. MBA ... no thanks for now. I don't need another paper in my life.
Things in life will not always go your way ... we will never have it all, I realised. So I'm learning with live with what I have, rather than what I don't have. And I will learn the blessings that come with them.
Next week is a shorter one so I'm looking forward to three days of rest :) Not going anywhere though chilling out at home will suffice for me :)
Nothing else I want ...
I've a new member on board the team today. Very happy ... empty post since July this year. We had a team meeting today and everyone could ask him a question, and he could ask all of us one each. He asked me, "I know you like traveling. What other things do you hope to achieve in life?" Without hesitation, I said "Nothing". Really ... I've lived a fulfilling life as I do what I want now and I plan ahead. Other than not having had snow falling on my head, I'm pretty much happy with how my life has been thus far. At least for those I'm in control of.
During dinner today, I asked my hub the same question and he said the same thing. He has no regrets should he go tom and I smiled. Wow ... we must have done something right :) Being married to him for 9 years has made me a calmer person than I would have been. And he's right, we have no regrets as we've done our best and lived our lives the way we wanted. Now I understood why both of us have no ambitions to climb up in our careers ladders, no wish for more money or upgrades in life. We are contented :) Too bad if others think we should invest in a condo, or buy a BMW or whatever.
This is the best thoughts about myself and about us, for a long time. And I'm appreciative, truly.
Give others a chance
Two persons said this to me this week and it crossed my mind again today. Being quick in all days, I tend to take over things as I can finish it right away. That's my problem again, not my strength I learn. Yes, I will try. Just that I believe life is too short to waste time waiting for others. I much prefer to roll up my sleeves and drive whatever can be done so quickly. Why are so many people so 'can't be bothered'? This I can't understand. Honestly, I don't know what many people are living for as they seem to drift.
I'm a very driven person because I know what I don't want, even thou' I might not know 100% of what I want. Hence, I work towards my goals as I don't know when my time is up. Really, there's a whole list of things which I've yet to do in my life and I'm not waiting. I'm planning and aim to do what's within my control. I read in today's papers about Sands Marina's chef ... he believes in passion and drive in his team. So do I. But why doesn't our team members (in work and in life) the same? Sigh.
Anyhow, I'll strive to give others a chance ... to succeed and to fail. And will try to just be a bystander to watch them do that. It's not going to be easy and I hope this shift will give myself more time to pursue my goals. It includes attending a cooking class, feeling snow fall on my head and going for yoga classes weekly. Wish me luck and the others which I'm giving a chance :p
I went to watch "Broadway Beng 4" with my aunt and mom today. It was a almost full house for a 3pm show. I've watched every single one of his shows and this 4th instalment didn't disappoint me at all. In fact, I thought it was much more enjoyable than "The Hossan Leong Show". At least, no sponsors' messaged weaved into his script. And this beng came across as very sincere and real. I especially enjoyed his song about his mom's love for the family and his dad, who passed on eight years back. If you've time, do catch his show ... ends on 12 Dec I think. Loved his karoke Hokkien version of "Work hard, then will win" ... damn funny :O What a great way to spend a Sat afternoon :)
My team had a bonding session today and they chose a lunch and movie. The first choice was "A Christmas Carol" ... just a 1.5 hours movie. I've got a rough idea of the storyline so today's the first time I've seen the full story. It's simple, yet beautiful in reminding us the importance of sharing. The 3D effect was also good as I felt drawn into the story and movie.